Kind of Dry Janners

Well, here we are the last day of January already.  I had planned to do Dry January, honestly I really had, start the year off with a bit of a de-tox and all that.  Then life got in the way so it’s ended up being ‘Kind of’ Dry Janners.  I think 2 weeks abstaining from Sauvignon Blanc was a good start to the year, no?

At the end of last year I read a gazillion articles (OK maybe a handful) about the benefits of not drinking for a month.  Literally everywhere I looked the world was telling me to go dry for 31 days, it would be a game changer, life would never be the same again, if you’re not doing Veganuary (sorry nope, Braai Boy would divorce me) then you must stop drinking alcohol.  Basically I was being told that January had to be the most un-fun month ever.  I should have stood firm after all January is miserable enough, but in a moment of weakness I announced to Braai Boy ‘I’m doing Dry January’ to which he replied ‘treat yourself I’m not!’.

You would think I would be slightly annoyed that my darling (long suffering?) husband refused to join me on my latest ‘health kick’  but I wasn’t.  You see Braai Boy has spent the best part of the last 2 years dry, as dry as dry can be.  Everytime he was deployed I would tell him that I would not drink alcohol for the duration of his deployment.  You know get some ‘good wife’ tokens, by showing him a bit of solidarity, if he can do it I can do it and all that.  Ahem, well, let’s just say, I did not spend the best part of the last 2 years dry instead I supported him in spirit (for that read gin).  But hang on, don’t think he is hard done by and I am not supportive, I would like to point out that he did not stop drinking alcohol whilst I was preganant.  To be fair he probably needed the odd drink, I was not a very good pregnant and probably nearly broke him, especially as I went off meat!

Anyway, back to Kind of Dry Janners.  As I sat sipping my wine post Christmas I read all about the benefits which should kick in after a mere 7 days booze free.  Having lasted 14 days I have to report as follows:

Sleeping:  apparently giving up booze should mean that your sleeping pattern is improved and you wake well rested.  Erm, nope, uninterrupted sleep?  What is that?  I can’t remember the last time I slept through the night.  One word people – Children.  For my kids shouting Mama Mama Mama between 0100 and 0300 is a perfectly normal thing to do.  Every.  Single.  Night.  I can safely say that my sleep did not improve and I definintely did not jump out of bed every morning burst into song and start my day full of beans.  The only beans that I had were of the coffee variety!

Better decision making:  perhaps it was my bad decision making that led me to attempting Dry January.  I can tell you one things for sure, those 2 dry weeks did make me see some sense and I’ve decided that I will not do Dry January again.  Maybe a week here and there, but not a month, life’s too short and my kids are too testing.

Better physical performance: that’s ridiculous, in 2 weeks I will not go from an overtired wine glugging mama to an elite althete. Nope, next…

Weight loss well that’s a really good reason to ditch the booze, BUT I substituted chocolate for wine, need I say more?

Less sugar cravings: see above.

Improved vision:  I still wear glasses.

Premature aging of skin prevented:  too late I’m afraid.  Kids, sunbathing, laughter, stress and Braai Boys many absences have already got the better of my skin.  No potions or lotions or booze free months are going to sort this face out.  

Hormone Balance maintained:  not sure on this one to be honest, you would have to ask Braai Boy about that, I think I am perfectly well balanced all the time, he may disagree!

So, there you have it.  I’m not sure who researches or writes these articles but they clearly have not been a parent (or they are one of those smug parents that have kids that sleep through, eat all their vegetables and don’t answer back – yeah we all know one of those parents don’t we?) and they have definitely never ever had PMT.

Braai Boy is more than happy that I’m back on the vino, the bank balance less so.  Do it, don’t do it, do what makes you happy.  We’re nearly through the longest month of the year and that’s a cause for celebration isn’t it?

Cheers lovely people.

Author: charliefoxtrotmama

Mama to 2 kids and an Army wife. Life’s a cluster but it’s all part of the adventure. This blogs about the highs, lows and hilarity that come with being a Mama and an Army wife. If my waffle helps someone realise that it is life that is a bit bonkers not them, and to smile when it all seems a bit sh*tty, well, I’ll be happy

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