The Christmas Do

If there is one thing that the military do well it is a party.  Summer Party, Christmas Party, Dinner Nights, whatever it may be they really know how to put on a good night.  We’ve been to a fair few Mess Do’s over the years, most of the Do’s have had themes we’ve been to Game of Thrones, Out of Africa, Strictly, Hollywood and so on.  Last weekend was the Mess Christmas Party here and I have to say it was pretty awesome, the theme was Narnia. 

I used to love getting dressed up in long gowns (or fancy dress) and spending the best part of the day pampering and preening ready for a proper night out.  Now it’s a quick wash, into PJ’s to bath the kids and pretend that we are not going out before briefing the babysitter as I slap on the makeup and run a brush though my hair. 

Curly Locks and her hubbie and the boys aka Titch and the Silver Fox came too, they’re not military but love a good party.  Curly Locks and I were in long dresses, makes a change from jeans and boots, and the boys were in black tie.  The military types had a choice Mess Kit or not, Braai Boy chose not.  What did he wear instead of Mess Kit I hear you ask?  Well, he wore black tie and a FLASHING bowtie, I know that sounds a bit festive for him doesn’t it?  It did take several glasses of wine before he actually turned it on.

Well, what a welcome we had when we got to the Mess, there was a bare-chested man on stilts, yes that’s right Mr Tumnus was there in all his six pack loveliness, he was very much appreciated by all. There were fairy lights everywhere, the Mess ceilings and walls were covered in white flowing material, there was a sleigh and a throne, it was all very magical.  Some people were in Mess Kit, others were in black tie or posh frocks, and there was a party atmosphere.  So, we did bubbles and beers then sat down for dinner.  The booze and banter flowed and before we knew it, it was time for the entertainment.

After dinner we came across 3 things that changed the course of the night; a Liquid Nitrogen Cocktail Bar, a vodka Luge and a Glitter Station.  After sampling a few cheeky incredibly cold strong cocktails and free pouring flavoured vodka through the lion luge we stumbled across the Glitter Station.  First off me and Curly Locks had a go, there were some instructions on how to apply the glitter, I ignored them and ended up looking like I had been hit in the eye by a silver glitter snowball.  Curly Locks read the instructions and looked blue and sparkly and lovely.

We then heard a rumour that there was a professional photographer and decided that we had to have a group photo.  What were we thinking?  We’d had cocktails and now we were covered in glitter this was never going to be a ‘pop it on the mantlepiece’ kind of photo.  Anyway, the queue for the photographer was long so Braai Boy and the boys made frequent trips to the bar to keep us hydrated.  To keep us entertained we started heckling Mr Tumnus as he strutted up and down the corridor.  Oh how foolish we were.  No sooner had we got in front of the camera we were photo bombed by Mr Tumnus.  Yes, we bought the photo, well, why not? Its not every day you’re photo bombed by a faun on stilts.

We then hit the dance floor, there was a band and a DJ and more cocktails and more wine.  Now, there are certain things that should never EVER be put together, in this case Titch and a Glitter Station.  So, there we were dancing, or trying to dance but mostly bouncing, swaying and singing horribly out of tune when Titch disappeared.  Next thing I knew I’d been Titched, as I had turned to speak to Curly Locks I received a face full of glitter.  In fact, every time we turned round there was a smiling Titch with a handful of glitter to blow in your face, sprinkle on your head or just rubbed on you.  By the end of the night we were all totally and utterly covered in glitter, even Titch.

Well, when I got home I couldn’t get the bloody glitter off.  I used a lot of baby wipes which resulted in me moving the glitter round my face and I went to bed with a very sparkly multi coloured glitter beard.  I eventually de-glittered but the same can’t be said for the house.   There’s still glitter everywhere even though I’ve hoovered a lot a lot.  In fact, every night before bath time Wee Man sits on the bathroom floor and picks the glitter off his bare feet sighing ‘Oh Uncle Titch!’.  So I just wanted to say thank you lovely Titch for once again bringing a bit of sparkle in to our lives.

Getting our Christmas ON!

There are 2 things that Braai Boy and I do not agree on.  The first is rugby, he supports the Springboks and anyone who plays against England.  I support England and Scotland.  The second is Christmas.  Now, I absolutely love Christmas.  Braai Boy does not, Braai Boy is totally and utterly Bah Humbug.  But guess what?? It’s December so it’s time to get our Christmas on!

The good thing is that Braai Boy has been away on Exercise for the last few weeks and only got back yesterday.  This has given me time to find the boxes of decorations, get them out and get them up.  Its easier to decorate the house when he is not here (this is the third year) because I’m not distracted by his huffing and puffing as I turn our house from magnolia married quarter into sparkly, glittery, all things Christmassy amazingness.  So, you see, Braai Boy being away is not always a bad thing, especially at this time of year. 

At the weekend I left the kids with my Mum and I went out to get the tallest widest tree I could find.  The kids requested a real tree that is taller than me, as I am 5ft 10ish that’s a fairly tall tree.  Much to Braai Boys despair we always have a real tree.  My argument is that we don’t have enough storage space for a fake tree because he has all his military kit in the garage, before you ask no we have never ever parked a car in any of our garages because they have always been full of his kit.   Of course, Braai Boy moans about the pine needles on the carpet and having to water the bloody thing, I smile and nod and say something like ‘well maybe if you got rid of some of your kit you would get your fake Christmas tree’.  That’s when the moaning stops, because I know he will never get rid of any of his kit.

So, there was me and my Mum getting the tree into the stand, as I lay on the floor Wee Man thought this was the perfect opportunity to play horsey, whilst Miss Sassy decided to do a full rendition of all the songs from her school Christmas Play.  After some jiggery pokery with bits of branch and coasters the tree was standing up straight.  Miss Sassy then opened up all the boxes of decorations and emptied them on to the floor, helpful? Not really.  The lights were not tangled so I cracked on with getting those on the tree.  The strings of beads on the other hand were in a massive red and gold ball, not going to lie it took Mum, Miss Sassy and I ages to untangle them, but that didn’t matter we had Christmas tunes on and we were feeling festive.  Meanwhile, Wee Man was decorating his garage with baubles, well why not?

Once Miss Sassy lost interest in the beads I was left to untangle the bead ball, I have to say it was surprisingly therapeutic.  As I was untangling, Mum and the kids decorated the tree.  We have lots of different baubles and decorations for the house, some tasteful, some not so tasteful, but you know what? they all have memories.  So, if you come to our house and you see something that is not to your taste please keep quiet because it’s there for sentimental reasons.  You know what?  When the kids went to bed I didn’t redecorate the tree, why should I?  they decorated it and made it their own, they well and truly got their Christmas On.

There’s lights in the windows, lights around mirrors and lights on the mantlepiece.  I think we nailed the fairy lights this year.  It’s not quite Santa’s grotto but I think as far as Christmas goes we’ve done a good job.  Hector the hat hook has his Santa hat on, I can’t wait to see Braai Boys face, then again maybe not.  The silver jock, which needs his pre Christmas clean, has his teeny tiny Santa Hat on and looks very festive indeed.  The advent house is full of chocolates and Miss Sassy has made her very own Snowman disco snowball scene.

Wee Man has taken to throwing his rugby ball cushion at the tree, ‘it won’t catch mama’, ‘really son?  That surprises me’.  Then when the baubles fall off he shouts at me and Miss Sassy to put them back on, yes it’s his new favourite game, I am hoping he will get bored of it within a week, who am I kidding this is going to go on until I take the tree down. 

0645 yesterday the doorbell went, Braai Boy was home and didn’t have his keys.  If I’d known he was going to be that early I would have been up at 0600 to get the Christmas lights on to welcome him.  I needn’t have worried, Miss Sassy flew down the stairs demanding he closed his eyes so she could walk him to the lounge and show him the tree and this and that and everything.  As well as not liking Christmas and the English rugby team he also dislikes early mornings, good job he likes his daughter isn’t it?

And there we have it.  The house has been Christmassed up, Daddy is home and now we can start Silly Season.  We are all in the Christmas mood, well me and the kids are, but I am sure even Braai Boy will start to feel less Bah Humbug when I give him mulled wine in his Christmas mug.