I survived half term! I’m totally and utterly Halloweened out but I survived. It was a solo parenting affair as Braai Boy was with his Mistress. Don’t worry he’s not traded me in for a younger, svelte, less nagging model. When I talk about his mistress I mean the other love of his life, the Army. I will give him his due he did try to take one whole day off, he even put his out of office on. Unfortunately this did not stop emails and phone calls. Good job I didn’t cancel the catch up with friends that I had organised otherwise I would have been a teeny tiny bit p*ssed off.
I really wish I could be one of those parents that has a gazillion ideas of how to entertain their kids. You know they type I mean, the organised ones that have jars filled with little bits of paper with activities and day trips on ‘Go on kids pick from the jar and we will have a lovely day and post pics all over social media of you being smiley happy kids’. Well that’s not me I’m more ‘If you stay in bed and go straight to sleep I’ll think of something fun to do tomorrow’ I then spend the evening with a glass of wine scouring the internet for stress free stuff to do with the kids.
So, what did we do this half term? Well, it was Halloween week so obviously there were pumpkins involved. On Braai Boys non day off we left him at home answering calls and furiously tapping the keyboard. We went to visit friends. The activity of the day was pumpkin carving, the kids lost interest in scooping out the slimy insides after about 2 minutes so it was left to 3 very enthusiastic Mums to get the job done (we obviously still had patience and enthusiasm as it was the start of the half term). The kids requested that we carve the meanest, scariest, weirdest pumpkins. Once the kids had ‘drawn’ their desired design on the pumpkins we did our very best to decipher the scrawling black pen.
In the car on the way home Miss Sassy and Wee Man proudly sat with their (MY!) carved pumpkins on their laps. They were desperate to see them lit up in all their glory. When we got home I put a candle in each pumpkin and it was at this point that Wee Man totally lost it. I’m talking snot, tears, unintelligible shouting, all I did was put a candle in a bloody pumpkin. I finally worked out what he was shouting, apparently that the cyclops I had carved for him, which I thought was pretty scary and a fair representation of his scribble, wasn’t scary enough for him. In Wee Mans words ‘it’s not MAAAAAAAD Mama, I wanted MAAAAAAAAD’. So, the next day off we went to get more pumpkins. Pumpkin carving Round 2. With a sigh I asked ‘What do you want me to carve?’ both Kids decided they wanted Ninjago (Lego Ninjas for those of you who don’t know). It took me a while but I did it. Quite pleased with my Ninja like pumpkins I popped a candle in them, turned off the lights and called the kids through to the kitchen. Ta Daaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! I shouted with a big smile on my face, feeling smug that we had 2 Ninjago pumpkins. Wee Man burst into tears, it wasn’t MAD enough. Mummy fail for the second day on the trot, so I put a bottle of wine in the fridge and the kids in front of the TV. When they went to bed I sat in the kitchen drinking a semi cold glass of wine with all 5 pumpkins lit, if they weren’t going to enjoy them I bloody well was!
The next day was the day of the Patch Halloween Party. I set about making pumpkin crispy cakes which were a disaster, they ended up being orangey peachy coloured crispy cakes. The kids decorated cupcakes which they then ate for lunch. Then it was time to get ready for the Party. Miss Sassy was a zombie bride, she asked for me to make her look fierce, I painted her face silver and drew cobwebs on her cheeks. Wee Man wore a skeleton onesie, and of course he wanted his face painted because Miss Sassy had hers done, I got as far painting his face white then he got bored and ran off. Basically I made Miss Sassy look like a robot zombie bride that had been got at by spiders and Wee Man just looked ill.
The kids were desperate to get on with the Trick or Treating so once Braai Boy had escaped work and found us at the Patch Party off we went. The rule was ‘no light or pumpkin no knock’, of course this did not stop the sugar filled kids trying every door they could looking for their next fix. All we could hear as we went around was parents shouting ‘just take one’, ‘say thank you’, ‘you can’t eat that now’, ‘where’s your brother’, ‘watch out for the step’, ‘do you need a wee’, ‘no I won’t carry you’ and so on. By half 6 we were done, Miss Sassy’s bucket was full, Wee Man was beyond tired so we headed home. The bucket of sweets we had left outside our door had been decimated much to Braai Boys disappointment. Our pumpkins were intact, the kids were tired, wine was in the fridge. On Halloween we definitely had a winning day!
Half Term week finished as it had started with a Soft Play birthday party. The first weekend we went to stay with Curly Locks, it was her little girl’s birthday party. The clocks changed on Saturday night, we decided to drink through the extra hour, we didn’t really think that through given we were up at stupid o’clock with the kids who were super excited to go to the soft play party. The party started at 0930, ouch my head. Braai Boy was there in body not spirit you see he was plugged into his phone watching his beloved Springboks playing in the Semis of the Rugby World Cup. The last weekend of half term was pretty much the same story. This time I took the kids to a birthday party at a dinosaur soft play, I have to say it was brilliant. I say that, it was brilliant apart from the dance floor which flashed non stop, causing most of us to feel dizzy and slightly sick. Braai Boy missed out on the flashing dance floor he was in a bar drinking beer watching his team win the Rugby World Cup. In all honesty I am glad I wasn’t watching the game with him, I am not a great loser and his is not a gracious winner.
And there we are, some winning, some losing and definitely some wining! Half Term holidays survived, now let’s get to Christmas.